The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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