btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
