I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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