Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I met the friendliest cop last night
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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