u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
