i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
