i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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