Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
