...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
