There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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