I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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