I hate your face
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
