We named our party play list daddy issues
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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