HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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