My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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