Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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