dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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