the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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