You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My vagina is officially offended.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
