idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
