you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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