The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
