do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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