My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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