we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
