Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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