"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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