Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
