U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
