hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I want a musical about memes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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