Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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