hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
