I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
