She announced her abortion via fbk
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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