How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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