Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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