fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
