oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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