weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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