Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
