he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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