So drunk its hurt
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
