watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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