I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize