I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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