quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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