My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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