Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
