Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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