I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
