Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
