well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
