Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
