Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
