They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
