Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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