dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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