Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
