From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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