I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
