His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
