remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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