After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
whose parrot is this?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
